Here Comes de Bryde

There was a time when I would tell you that I preferred taking a funeral to a wedding any time. If pressed further, I would claim that it is because of the "why they are here" dimension of it all and yes, there are a few couples who seem to favour the pretty pictures and only God-lite. 

But only a few. 

I have just finished conducting a cracking wedding here. It was life-giving for me, and I think that it might have been for the assembled crowd too. We laughed a lot, and even the forecast and inevitable rain stopped a very helpful four minutes before the bride emerged from the antique Roller. The power of prayer, I tell you ... 

As I pondered the increasing queue for the loo post-nuptials (and my word, what a lengthy queue it was for the single Necessarium in the building) it occurred to me that I might have been characteristically harsh on weddings. In the first place, the couple chose us - we didn't choose them. We had the honour of saying "yes" to them. Within the myriad options that exist for couple these days, that a pair would choose us is not to be taken for granted. Then they invited their friends and family to a place that they have grown comfortable with through the time of preparations - and a group of people who were complementary of the church and of the service. They gave us a go too.

I reflected too upon some of the weddings I have been privy too that have not been in a church setting. Some are exquisite and meaningful affairs, but many are not. Taking God out of the equation leaves you with a book to sign and person in a suit to work out how to stretch that moment out beyond three or four minutes. The fact is, churches are gifted in this ministry - we have had lots of practice I guess.

As with funerals, we as priests get (DV) one go to take our place in realising a meaningful moment in someone's earthly existence. They needn't come to us, but they do, and we should be glad of the opportunity. They choose hymns and sing them, they choose Scripture and pray the prayers. I have also noticed a new level of creativity on the part of couples. They know well what they want and envisage every moment in detail. It seems to me a great opportunity, once again, to enable - as distinct from chuntering about proper music in church. I have witnessed some fantastic things this year in the weddings I have conducted - some true creativity and expression, and I am at peace with all of it (mostly). In fact, I am learning a thing or two along the way. In the middle of these remarkable ceremonies, with all the quirky touches and questionable rhyme, there is a couple, God, and love. 

You can't want for more than that, surely. 

A Winning Tip for All Vicars

If it true that fortune favours the brave, then I am here to offer some proof positive. 

A little while ago, I wrote a little something about the fact that we had done something very risky here at our church. No - nothing quite so risky as unfettered incense and Palestrina (and let's face it, even God has given up favouring incense - He finds that the Choirs Invisible cough too much and are, oddly, all allergic to the smoke). 

And no, I haven't uttered in a Tongue either. There is risk and then there is downright folly (largely because I'd not know that in my Glossolalia whether my syntax and sentence structure were right, and I couldn't live with the not knowing - is it Le Le Le or Lu Lu Lu, for example). 

No, I am talking measured risk, much like getting up in the morning or turning over the starter motor on a petrol combustion engine that seeks only to set fire to petrol somewhere near your kneecaps.

The thing is, we opened our church doors. To our church. We didn't create a rota of helpful welcomers who may, upon the arrival of a newcomer, scowl around behind them. No, we suggested that the church locals might want to pop in on an ad hoc basis and check that the place was alright - and do that other deeply risky thing and go into a church on a day that doesn't start with an S and rhyme with Monday. Heaven forfend that we might suggest a mid-week booster! However, the church was opened, the valuable stuff (like Sacristans and former Wardens) were locked away for safe-keeping, and it happened. 

People

Came

In

You heard it here. People came in. And not just tourists (although there are some those too), but people who wanted to engage with a sacred space and the presence of God that they sought within. 

Of all the things that have changed here since the new Vicar pitched up - it is this that has proven to be the most successful. The Vicar has now booked three weddings purely because the couples in question found the doors open when they were looking around for places that could host their special day. We have also had a funeral here on the same basis for a lovely lady who simply wanted her local church to be open the day her beloved man died - and found it open. She told me that she had never been in before - but when the time came, we were ready and open and accommodating. 

I know that there are some of my brothers and sisters in Christ who have yet to take this risk (and yes, it is a risk). However, I absolutely and categorically believe that it is as much a contributory factor in the growth in numbers here as any other thing. Frankly, if I lose a couple of candle-sticks a year I will still be in spiritual credit and the insurance company are right behind the endeavour too. 

If you have any say in any church, do one thing ...

Open your Doors. 

There will be a dozen excuses and many reasons why it would be too great a risk. However, looking at it the other way - would you risk a seeker passing by because they couldn't come in? Baubles or Disciples - the choice is that simple.