Here Comes de Bryde

There was a time when I would tell you that I preferred taking a funeral to a wedding any time. If pressed further, I would claim that it is because of the "why they are here" dimension of it all and yes, there are a few couples who seem to favour the pretty pictures and only God-lite. 

But only a few. 

I have just finished conducting a cracking wedding here. It was life-giving for me, and I think that it might have been for the assembled crowd too. We laughed a lot, and even the forecast and inevitable rain stopped a very helpful four minutes before the bride emerged from the antique Roller. The power of prayer, I tell you ... 

As I pondered the increasing queue for the loo post-nuptials (and my word, what a lengthy queue it was for the single Necessarium in the building) it occurred to me that I might have been characteristically harsh on weddings. In the first place, the couple chose us - we didn't choose them. We had the honour of saying "yes" to them. Within the myriad options that exist for couple these days, that a pair would choose us is not to be taken for granted. Then they invited their friends and family to a place that they have grown comfortable with through the time of preparations - and a group of people who were complementary of the church and of the service. They gave us a go too.

I reflected too upon some of the weddings I have been privy too that have not been in a church setting. Some are exquisite and meaningful affairs, but many are not. Taking God out of the equation leaves you with a book to sign and person in a suit to work out how to stretch that moment out beyond three or four minutes. The fact is, churches are gifted in this ministry - we have had lots of practice I guess.

As with funerals, we as priests get (DV) one go to take our place in realising a meaningful moment in someone's earthly existence. They needn't come to us, but they do, and we should be glad of the opportunity. They choose hymns and sing them, they choose Scripture and pray the prayers. I have also noticed a new level of creativity on the part of couples. They know well what they want and envisage every moment in detail. It seems to me a great opportunity, once again, to enable - as distinct from chuntering about proper music in church. I have witnessed some fantastic things this year in the weddings I have conducted - some true creativity and expression, and I am at peace with all of it (mostly). In fact, I am learning a thing or two along the way. In the middle of these remarkable ceremonies, with all the quirky touches and questionable rhyme, there is a couple, God, and love. 

You can't want for more than that, surely. 

The Joy of Marriage

This week will become known not for the wonderful Easter and its perfect weather just enjoyed, but as a week where the institution of marriage is once again re-affirmed. 

I am writing this on a day when Mrs Acular and I are celebrating our fourteenth wedding anniversary. You may be pondering why I am wasting good anniversary time writing my Blogette when I could be thinking romantical thoughts with my life's-love. The truth is, she is off helping her sister pick a wedding dress for her nuptials, so here I am (praise the Lord).

In three days, the whole wide telly-watching world will be tuned in to see Prince William marry the fragrant Kate Middleton (who is related to a fryer of fish, by the way). I have heard that this will number into the 700,000,000s of people. Perhaps it is no accident that we in our church-life have seen a little surge in requests to marry this year, and for that we thank God. I pray fervently that they enjoy a happy, long, fruitful life together. Their happy day is a happy day for us, and I thank them for that. 

I speak as one who knows what I am talking about, as I have been in relationships outside of marriage as well the one within it. Many men and women baulk at the idea of marriage, regarding it as outdated, pointless, 'just a piece of paper'. Rubbish! The only reasons not to marry someone, as far as I can see, is that a 'quick-release' mechanism remains desirable, or that two people just don't love one another quite enough that it can last a lifetime. There, strong words, but it is how I feel. 

I believe very strongly, that marriage is the very best one person can offer to another person whom they love with all their heart. Why would you not marry? And it is different. After I married Jo, it felt different compared to  before. It felt different in the very best of ways. Loose affiliations are fine if you wish to be loosely affiliated to someone, but to stand up in front of the 'world' and say 'I do', takes courage, commitment, and is surely the keenest demonstration for that love that there is (and should be available to all adults who love one another). 

For me, it has been fourteen wonderful years with a faithful kind and beautiful woman who has endured much that I may live my dreams. I hope that I have done the same for her. As a couple we have brought to life two gorgeous children, no better fruit of our love. It hasn't all been plain sailing, and to pretend otherwise would be daft - and oh my word how she nags. I jest, but we have had many good days and few bad. Being married meant that we had days when it felt that love wasn't quite enough, and when just duty to our vows was the glue. It happens in all marriages, not just ours. In simple terms, I have agreed to love this woman-without-taste-in-men for the rest of her life, and she has agreed the same. That simple promise changes my whole world, every day.