Gizza Job (The David Beckham Edition)

Picture courtesy of  The Guardian

It warms my heart to read pure-gold evidence that David Beckham, Lord of Los Angeles, might be a card carrying, fee-paying church-going Christian. Well, he must be - and let me tell you why. 

When he was tiny weeny, he was identified by an older person as being a child with a gift in the form of a God-given skill at something. He worked hard, went to the right places, was seen and did lots - and in the end got the chance to do what he was good at for a living. He undertook this work with aplomb and even earned a little to provide for the three cities he keeps at home (I know one is Brooklyn, but the other two escape me). He has himself a nice wife, quiet and un-assuming (well, you never see her in photos) and has made a nice life for himself and his family. My wife informs me that he is a good man, a nice role-model - an example to the children who look to him for inspiration and their Guiding Light, like what Vicars used to do and be until they became the characters of parody and idiocy on soap-operas. 

Well, night followed day. The First Season. Many more passed until the day when the nice man with the camera and fluffy pompom microphone to his home and mentioned TeemGeeBee to him. "It would be nice", said David (never to be called Dave, and rightly so). 

Then that nice Mr Pearce from off the telly said he had built his committee for the Limpicks. Our David was very sad because he wasn't asked on the committee of footballists. So (through the clever medium of everyone else's voice and not his own), he complained heartily, saying that he had been part of the group for like ever and that - surely there by right. "Football Reasons" they said - which would suggest that "Football Reasons" means "Get some Dignity Man, you are Far Too Old". Just ask that other city, Rio - he was "Football Reasoned" out of the committee he was part of. So many changes, so much grief. 

So, a man who can't seem to let go, possibly a tad past his very best, not taking the view that there are many others who might like a go at the job who would benefit from the experience rather more and who, now, might just be better - a man already involved but in another capacity. A man who fears the change born of the passage of change, much whimpering in private so that everyone else does the complaining in public. DB just has to go to church. Where else would he learn this stuff?