The last week or so has been interesting. I have been reading Parish Profiles, and dreaming dreams. You may remember that I was planning to write a satirical Profile after my efforts with the Vacancies page in the Church Times, but recognise that they are written by untrained loving people who have a hard job to do for a whole community. They are, therefore, off limits to me.
I come to this post desperate to write. I have agonised over finding words for the last few days, and I am tired with the exertion of trying and failing. The words I need to find are the equivalent of trying to answer questions about why I love someone - you see the problem - you know the answer but no words exist to express it properly. I can write a blog post, though, free the words a little.
Now, Parish Profiles. If you are unfamiliar with them, they are the statements of particulars of parish churches and their communities - prayer life, community, opportunities, aspirations and so on. Yes, the priest that many of them often seek (the cause of their creation mostly) cries out for no-one less that the Lord - but why not, eh? If it was was my church, I would want Rev J. Christ and no-one else. But they are wonderful documents. They are permission to daydream. This is just as well, as upon them we choose to move our families, their lives and hopes, and plonk them into the middle of p.8 for the next decade. The daydreams are therefore entirely useful! Prayer happens in those times too. To look at the church and imagine ministering within its walls, walking down its paths at Easter, the kids playing on the lawn at the back of vicarage, the summer fair on the green, the news that there is a school with relationships with the parish, a cry for enablement and collaboration, a deep liturgical life, a coffee rota, a treasurer and secretary - what better pastime is there than this for an aspirant parish priest. None, mate - let me tell you. That list is endless!
Now the words are coming. Thank God!
Do you get days like this? Days when you need to express yourself in one form or another and it doesn't or can't flow? I am trying to work out why it is, because in the midst of failing to find words for one thing, also wrote two sermons and a funeral. Those words were not a problem. I think it is when I have to write about myself. A blog is a subterfuge, a hiding place - we get so far and then stop, and in the end say little about ourselves, leaving you wonderful readers to join the dots!
Anyway, I have rambled aimlessly and pointlessly, so will stop for now. I just needed to write, release a little pressure. Job done. Thank you!