Tuesday, 17 August 2010

Gimme More

I was sitting in my study doing what I always swore that I would never do, and which I do every day - eating at my computer while I work. Today I was fashioning my next Parish Rag, so in one hand I grappled a very substantial bacon sandwhich and with the other, moved images around a screen

This, my brothers and sisters (and those who may be unsure), is the meat and potatoes of a good curacy. Sling a little prayer in there and you fast discover the reason why no curate is ever unhappy and never complains (sorry, I choked on a crumb) - in short, the joy of tending to the Vine whilst nomming on moreish food (not moorish food - that is 'meze' and most made using bulgar wheat).

I have often wondered why such food is irresistable, almost universally. My chew of choice, the bacon sandwhich, is the Prince of Dishes - closely followed by none less than the choc-chip cookie, another present feature dans la salle du cuisine Aculaire. What makes such food so moreish? I don't find this phenomenomenomenon with other food like, say, carrots or even cheese - but some things just cannot be resisted and are not so much consumed as consume (to the tune of 'Make me a Channel of Your Pizza'). Whatever I may have just eaten, and in whatever quantity, if I see a chocchip cookie or smell cooking Pig Flesh - I just gotta have it. It might even prove to be a Mr Creosote moment with his Waffer Theen Meent, but I just gotta have it. I feel called to lyrical outburst:

Oh Bacon Roll, oh Bacon Roll;
Can I hear you Calling?
Oh Bacon roll, oh Bacon roll
Recieve by my mouth a mauling.
Is it me, or can you talk?
My spindly legs you cause to walk?
Oh Bacon Roll, oh Bacon Roll;
In love with you I'm falling!


  1. While one appreciates your honesty (sometimes), it is also rather disconcerting to discover that your epicurian values are as unsound as some of your other tastes. How sad to find our favourite curate has feet of lead!

    Remember, he who lives by cholesteral is quite likely to die of it. Not for a while one hopes!

  2. Whilst I cannot agree with our Welsh friend above regarding your taste, insofar as it relates to bacon butties at least, I also worry about the state of your arteries. Worry not, I have a solution. How about a couple of days' manual labour? I know just the job for you......



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