I was looking for an image for an entirely different thought, and discovered this (the site is a scream, do visit it) - and it tapped into a latent grump that I harbour about the world today.
I open up Facebook from time to time (well, in times when I want to see an entire week of useful time absorbed) and I glance down the Updates. There seem to be specific brands of Status Updates:
- Smug mode (aka 'look at me, look at me')
- Something 'bleeding heart' that I have cut and paste from another, so I can show that I care (aka 'if you want a kitten to live, put this crock of giblets on your page to show you care')
- What I am meant to be doing instead of typing this Update (aka 'I am meant to be ....)
- My last bowel movement / cuppa drunk / shape of the last cloud to pass my window (aka pointless drivel)
- Wit (aka lack of wit, no-one gets it, only you, only you get your own joke, plum!)*
This picture sums up what seems to be a need in so many of us (and I am not ignoring the fact that a Blog is the biggest most grandiose form of Status Updating). So, as a loving Priest, I offer the following pastoral advice:
- If you are that busy, log off of Facebook - your life will not end if you do, it really won't.
- Finish what you are doing before you tell us - we don't want to know what you might achieve, but rather what you did achieve. ['David Cloake is ... a proud Dad' is so much more savoury than the alternative if we take the model to which I refer] (this is an example, no pregnancies here)
- Yes, we all know that you know what we don't know - so stop telling us what you know, so that we too may know - we don't want to know what you know, and you know it.
- Kittens will not die if you fail to cut and paste some tosh onto your Status, so get a grip and stop it.
- Yes, we know you are working towards your PhD in something that no-one has hitherto heard of - you mention it EVERY DAY
* 'Wit aka lack of wit' - scans nicely doesn't it. Like a disco song ....